Home and Business Transitions

It has been 6 weeks since we moved into our new home, and I still have not processed enough to create a really coherent post on the subject. At some point, I want to share all the synchronicities and happy accidents that surrounded our move, all the energetic uplevelling that took place (and is still taking place!) for me and my husband, and the impact of a couple of significant losses.

I also began working with The Morrigan just before we moved, and she has made it clear to me that one of the things I am required to do under her tutelage is stop hiding and treat my business like the significant entity it is.  I have spent enough time dipping my toe in and backing back out of the business world. It’s time to follow my own advice and uncover my light. So, there will be an official announcement soon regarding the name of the business and my offerings.

Lastly, I wanted to take a moment to thank you all for reading and for supporting me along my journey. My intention for every post is to share my own experiences so that others who are experiencing something similar will know they are not alone.  I hope to offer encouragement, and maybe even some guidance, but at the very least, some reassurance that there is light in the dark, and that some sense of order may be found even in chaos.

 

I will leave you today with this photo from our moving day. It was taken in the parking lot of Wal-Mart, where I had gone to get some necessities for our first night in our beautiful new home. It had rained really hard as I went in, and when I came out, there was this:

double rainbow on moving day

…and I knew everything was, is, and always will be just right.

 

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Updates and Kari Samuels’ July Forecast

Good morning, everyone!
I wanted to take a moment and let you all know I haven’t forgotten about you; I have just been busy moving into the beautiful new home so many of you helped make a reality for us. I am working on a post about the whole experience, including the emotional, spiritual, and physical aspects, complete with photos.

Meanwhile, I hope you enjoy the beautiful and knowledgeable Kari Samuels’ July numerological and astrological forecast.

Happy Summer!

Planting Paradise

Sharing this beautiful post from my friend, Laura. Thanks in large part to her and her awesome husband, as well as several other friends, Jason and I will be making this place our home at the end of this month!
To say that this place is a dream come true for us just doesn’t do justice to our journey. I will write more about that once we get settled in to the new place, but for now, I leave you with Laura’s gorgeous photos.

Laura Bruno's Blog

The first summer we lived here — 2013 — this median facing an ugly view required a date with two batteries worth of weed whackers at least three times per week. We’re talking fast growing, out of control weeds on a strip of land with giant holes and rock hard, uneven soil, and an often flooded driveway. It crushed my soul to see this median as we approached our house.

I can barely believe the difference four years makes! This same strip is now a rain garden, bird and butterfly paradise, with serviceberry trees, Robinhood roses, sunflowers, lilies, milkweed, bachelor’s buttons, love in a mist, cosmos, and more. The fragrance alone is worth the trip. Last year, those roses bloomed from late May through the end of November with barely any care. Birds ate the hips this winter and spring.

Don’t ever doubt that you can change the world, one…

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Goodbye to the Old Me

After yesterday’s post and the outpouring of love and support sent my way since I posted it, I have felt a profound shift inside myself. This song came into my head as I was thinking back over the last two years, and especially the last week. So, I wanted to take a moment and honor the woman I have been, the woman who carried my deepest soul so carefully to this new place.

Healing my Memories of Home

old brown trailer

Old trailer like many of those I lived in as a child

I bet many of you lived in a place like this, and you will be able to relate to what I am about to say. My family lived in several places like this; some in trailer parks, some not. But they all shared a smell, especially in the South: cockroach spray. All the places we lived in reeked of the stuff. I can still smell it in my mind. By the time we lived in them in the mid-80s, these places had seen way better days. They often had soft floors around places where water might accumulate, like the toilet, the shower, and the kitchen and bathroom sinks.  In one trailer, we had to be careful not to stand too close to the front of the shower because the floor under it was so weak, a 90 pound 11-year-old might go crashing, naked, through the floor on to the ground below.  In another place we lived, that actually did happen to my mother, and she had the scars on her right calf to prove it until the day she died.

We didn’t always live in trailers. A few times, we lived in apartments, but those proved to be no better. Another place we lived, an upstairs apartment, had one bedroom that was completely unusable because the previous tenant had had dogs who were kept enclosed in it and there was so much calcified dog poop on the floor that you couldn’t walk anywhere in the room without stepping on it. I got the thankless job of ripping it up out of the bright blue carpet and scrubbing the spots with a bucket of hot, soapy water. It never was a room we could use for anything but storage.

In that same apartment, we could not afford to have the hot water turned on. Bath water was heated on the stove in a large roasting pan and poured into the bathtub. I washed my waist-length hair in icy water from the tap in the kitchen.

Why am I telling you this? So you will understand the week I have had.

My husband and I have gradually improved on my experience of home, but I have never felt that I left it entirely behind.  In all the spiritual work I have done, particularly in the last two years, I have moved leaps and bounds beyond the idea that I somehow deserved to be hidden away in unhealthy, ugly places, but my belief has still been put to the test this week.

The home of a very dear friend is coming open for rent in just over a month, and I have loved it from the moment I stepped inside it. There is a magnificent garden attached that she has lovingly, painstakingly restored from a desolate, weed-choked wasteland to an oasis of peace and beauty. I long with everything inside me to take up Guardianship of this place that feels sacred to me. But, I have struggled with finding enough faith in myself  – and in the Universe- to seize the opportunity in front of me.

As I went back and forth this week, breaking myself down and remaking myself into a true believer in my own worthiness, all my old memories of home resurfaced, and I have faced them with as much bravery as I could muster.

I wanted to share these thoughts of home with you today because it feels important to me to acknowledge my struggle, for maybe you have struggled with similar growth along your journey, or are struggling now. We can be the support we need for each other.

As I work my way through this period of intense growth, I also feel within me a rising of something I cannot even name yet. I think it may be an entirely new version of myself. I see her as more fully embodied, able to bring the visions in her head down into the Earth to be made manifest in this 3D realm. I see a woman who feels at home in a place that has firm floors, hot water, sacred spaces, and healthy boundaries.  I see a woman coming fully into her power.

The part of me that is already the woman I see in my mind’s eye believes that I will be living in this beautiful place that feels like home by the middle of July. The part of me that is still hiding, seeking a place that is clean and bright and whole, is terrified that things won’t come together in time, and I will be forever trapped in places like the ones I grew up in.  I hold that child-me in my arms and rock her, whispering that she is safe, she is safe, she is safe.

And as I do, her tears dry, her smile blossoms, and she gets up and runs outside to play in the garden of her dreams.

 

 

Tree Blessing

January 17th is a traditional day for blessing the trees, as I have recently learned.

A little gentle encouragement to begin to wake up, stretch, and look toward the warmer months of growth can never go wrong.

In that spirit, and to bless the trees in my own life tonight, I wrote a short poem that you may feel free to read to the trees in your life.

Tree Blessing
When the Sun rises high in the sky
May your leaves feel the warmth of His regard.
When the Moon appears, regal, in the night
May your soul dance with Her music.
When the rains come and the soil is heavy with life
May your roots find water and nourishment.
When I come before you with my heart full of Love
May you feel it in my arms around you. 
Grow, lovely Tree, vibrant and strong
And spread your strength to your Grove-Mates.
May Sun and Moon, Water, Soil, and Love
Attend you for all of your days. 

Evening Echoes

Alone in the evening, I pause at a sound I love:
I go in search and find you sleeping, snoring gently,
My pillow wrapped in your embrace.
Borne on the breeze of tenderness that wanders our home,
I hear the echoes of a love that sustains me:
There is laughter…yours and mine
Mingled together like tea and honey:
Intimate, entwined, joyful, loving.
Traces of discord…only sometimes:
Misunderstandings, the sounds of two separate souls
Struggling to become more
Intimate, entwined, joyful, loving.
A ribbon of sorrow, shared together
As we face the deaths, tragedies, disappointments of our lives,
And try to remain intimate, entwined, joyful, loving.
And whispers of passion as neither of us has ever known it-
Frightening in its beauty, its ferocity, its innocence and
Always intimate, entwined, joyful, loving.
You stir in your sleep, and the breeze of echoes is disturbed.
I slowly prepare the house for sleep and
Gently replace my pillow still in your embrace
With myself.

(Nov 16, 2004)