Creating your own reality does not mean that you decide what you want, imagine every detail, wave your magic wand, and BANG! You wake up to the world you created, whole and complete.
At least it doesn’t mean that for me. And I suspect it doesn’t mean that for a lot…dare I say, most….people.
Instead, creating your own reality really happens in the small choices you make every day, moment to moment, about what you will and won’t believe, what you will and won’t give your attention and focus to, what you will and won’t allow into your life.
A shift happened inside me at some point in the last two years. I decided to just believe whatever I want to. A big, ole F you to anyone who thought I was nuts, stupid, gullible, or childish. I had long been drawn to “magickal” things and ideas…energy manipulation, manifestation, moving sideways along alternate realities, faeries, tree beings, and on and on. I was afraid to surrender to what I feared some would view as a child-like indulgence of imagination, especially since I was heavily invested in being the smart, studious girl I had earned a reputation for being. Smart girls and faeries did not go together in my world. But, little by little, I began to see that I could re-write the story of myself. I wasn’t stuck being the character I had created for myself. Just like a figure in a story, I could erase parts and change them. So, that’s what I have been doing.
It all really started with learning to accept certain things about myself, and peel away things that I had taken on, but that no longer suited me. For example, I have always loved knowing how things work. It’s a near-biological need to understand why this happens when I pull, push, twist, or throw that. That part of me has helped me begin to understand how to get what I want, how to manipulate the laws that govern our physical plane to move myself in the direction I want to go. For me, it is truly no different from understanding why my car goes when I push on the gas pedal (although some things are more important for me to retain than others…lol) Accepting my need to understand meant that I could strip away my feelings of nosiness, guilt, even shame, for probing into things that some considered none of my business, or that led me to information that was not always backed up by scientific research. I do dearly love research, but I found that only accepting things that had a scientific backing no longer served me. So I let it go.
The work of accepting myself and stripping away things that are not myself led to moments of being allowed to glimpse the Mystery. I had what I have since called a Waterfall moment, when it felt like my head opened up and pure loving energy flowed in. The experience last for about 15 minutes, and it changed me. I started to see things out of the corner of my eye. I found Reiki and my friend Laura, who has mentored me and loved me as friend, sister, and child for lifetimes. I began to hear music in the still dark. I began to notice things about others that were different from my memory of them. I began to find that if I sent loving energy to someone who was being rude or mean to me, they often came back either entirely changed or changed toward me. And I began to believe my eyes and ears and intuition.
In each moment that I see, hear, or sense something that is outside the norm, I find that I have a split-second decision to make: do I trust this or do I not trust this. Do I accept this as real or do I not accept this as real. It comes down to an almost subconscious choice to trust myself and the Universe. But I can make that choice because I did all the other work, all the small, slow steps leading up to this. The Veil is parting wider for me because I chose each time the opportunity presented itself to look to the other side and not turn my back. When I heard the voice and felt the waves of energy from my Tree friends, I opened my heart and hugged them with my arms, even though I felt silly the first few times and wondered if I was losing my mind. I did not turn my back on Them and pretend I didn’t hear. And the first time I felt that an animal had a message for me, I accepted it for truth and went about trying to figure out what the message was. And when I saw a flit of iridescent wings and an echo of giggles, I stood in wonder and thanks for the gift of having seen my first faery since childhood. For every new Mystery glimpsed, I offer thanks, and I refuse to turn my back any more. This is how I create my reality. This is how you will create your reality, too.
Acknowledge what you want. Devote your attention to looking for the things you want. Be aware of what is reality for others, for it could impact you, too, especially in the beginning, but do not allow yourself to be drawn into their version of what is true. It’s like being aware that there are other tv channels playing other things, but since you don’t want to watch those other channels, they cease to mean anything significant to you.
You will find whatever you look for. I promise.