Updates and Kari Samuels’ July Forecast

Good morning, everyone!
I wanted to take a moment and let you all know I haven’t forgotten about you; I have just been busy moving into the beautiful new home so many of you helped make a reality for us. I am working on a post about the whole experience, including the emotional, spiritual, and physical aspects, complete with photos.

Meanwhile, I hope you enjoy the beautiful and knowledgeable Kari Samuels’ July numerological and astrological forecast.

Happy Summer!

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Unfiltered Thoughts on Creating Your Reality

Creating your own reality does not mean that you decide what you want, imagine every detail, wave your magic wand, and BANG! You wake up to the world you created, whole and complete.

At least it doesn’t mean that for me. And I suspect it doesn’t mean that for a lot…dare I say, most….people.

Instead, creating your own reality really happens in the small choices you make every day, moment to moment, about what you will and won’t believe, what you will and won’t give your attention and focus to, what you will and won’t allow into your life.

A shift happened inside me at some point in the last two years. I decided to just believe whatever I want to. A big, ole F you to anyone who thought I was nuts, stupid, gullible, or childish. I had long been drawn to “magickal” things and ideas…energy manipulation, manifestation, moving sideways along alternate realities, faeries, tree beings, and on and on. I was afraid to surrender to what I feared some would view as a child-like indulgence of imagination, especially since I was heavily invested in being the smart, studious girl I had earned a reputation for being. Smart girls and faeries did not go together in my world. But, little by little, I began to see that I could re-write the story of myself. I wasn’t stuck being the character I had created for myself. Just like a figure in a story, I could erase parts and change them. So, that’s what I have been doing.

It all really started with learning to accept certain things about myself, and peel away things that I had taken on, but that no longer suited me. For example, I have always loved knowing how things work. It’s a near-biological need to understand why this happens when I pull, push, twist, or throw that. That part of me has helped me begin to understand how to get what I want, how to manipulate the laws that govern our physical plane to move myself in the direction I want to go. For me, it is truly no different from understanding why my car goes when I push on the gas pedal (although some things are more important for me to retain than others…lol) Accepting my need to understand meant that I could strip away my feelings of nosiness, guilt, even shame, for probing into things that some considered none of my business, or that led me to information that was not always backed up by scientific research.  I do dearly love research, but I found that only accepting things that had a scientific backing no longer served me. So I let it go.

The work of accepting myself and stripping away things that are not myself led to moments of being allowed to glimpse the Mystery. I had what I have since called a Waterfall moment, when it felt like my head opened up and pure loving energy flowed in. The experience last for about 15 minutes, and it changed me. I started to see things out of the corner of my eye. I found Reiki and my friend Laura, who has mentored me and loved me as friend, sister, and child for lifetimes. I began to hear music in the still dark. I began to notice things about others that were different from my memory of them.  I began to find that if I sent loving energy to someone who was being rude or mean to me, they often came back either entirely changed or changed toward me. And I began to believe my eyes and ears and intuition.

In each moment that I see, hear, or sense something that is outside the norm, I find that I have a split-second decision to make: do I trust this or do I not trust this. Do I accept this as real or do I not accept this as real. It comes down to an almost subconscious choice to trust myself and the Universe.  But I can make that choice because I did all the other work, all the small, slow steps leading up to this. The Veil is parting wider for me because I chose each time the opportunity presented itself to look to the other side and not turn my back. When I heard the voice and felt the waves of energy from my Tree friends, I opened my heart and hugged them with my arms, even though I felt silly the first few times and wondered if I was losing my mind. I did not turn my back on Them and pretend I didn’t hear. And the first time I felt that an animal had a message for me, I accepted it for truth and went about trying to figure out what the message was. And when I saw a flit of iridescent wings and an echo of giggles, I stood in wonder and thanks for the gift of having seen my first faery since childhood. For every new Mystery glimpsed, I offer thanks, and I refuse to turn my back any more. This is how I create my reality. This is how you will create your reality, too.

Acknowledge what you want. Devote your attention to looking for the things you want. Be aware of what is reality for others, for it could impact you, too, especially in the beginning, but do not allow yourself to be drawn into their version of what is true. It’s like being aware that there are other tv channels playing other things, but since you don’t want to watch those other channels, they cease to mean anything significant to you.

You will find whatever you look for. I promise.

Goodbye to the Old Me

After yesterday’s post and the outpouring of love and support sent my way since I posted it, I have felt a profound shift inside myself. This song came into my head as I was thinking back over the last two years, and especially the last week. So, I wanted to take a moment and honor the woman I have been, the woman who carried my deepest soul so carefully to this new place.

Healing my Memories of Home

old brown trailer

Old trailer like many of those I lived in as a child

I bet many of you lived in a place like this, and you will be able to relate to what I am about to say. My family lived in several places like this; some in trailer parks, some not. But they all shared a smell, especially in the South: cockroach spray. All the places we lived in reeked of the stuff. I can still smell it in my mind. By the time we lived in them in the mid-80s, these places had seen way better days. They often had soft floors around places where water might accumulate, like the toilet, the shower, and the kitchen and bathroom sinks.  In one trailer, we had to be careful not to stand too close to the front of the shower because the floor under it was so weak, a 90 pound 11-year-old might go crashing, naked, through the floor on to the ground below.  In another place we lived, that actually did happen to my mother, and she had the scars on her right calf to prove it until the day she died.

We didn’t always live in trailers. A few times, we lived in apartments, but those proved to be no better. Another place we lived, an upstairs apartment, had one bedroom that was completely unusable because the previous tenant had had dogs who were kept enclosed in it and there was so much calcified dog poop on the floor that you couldn’t walk anywhere in the room without stepping on it. I got the thankless job of ripping it up out of the bright blue carpet and scrubbing the spots with a bucket of hot, soapy water. It never was a room we could use for anything but storage.

In that same apartment, we could not afford to have the hot water turned on. Bath water was heated on the stove in a large roasting pan and poured into the bathtub. I washed my waist-length hair in icy water from the tap in the kitchen.

Why am I telling you this? So you will understand the week I have had.

My husband and I have gradually improved on my experience of home, but I have never felt that I left it entirely behind.  In all the spiritual work I have done, particularly in the last two years, I have moved leaps and bounds beyond the idea that I somehow deserved to be hidden away in unhealthy, ugly places, but my belief has still been put to the test this week.

The home of a very dear friend is coming open for rent in just over a month, and I have loved it from the moment I stepped inside it. There is a magnificent garden attached that she has lovingly, painstakingly restored from a desolate, weed-choked wasteland to an oasis of peace and beauty. I long with everything inside me to take up Guardianship of this place that feels sacred to me. But, I have struggled with finding enough faith in myself  – and in the Universe- to seize the opportunity in front of me.

As I went back and forth this week, breaking myself down and remaking myself into a true believer in my own worthiness, all my old memories of home resurfaced, and I have faced them with as much bravery as I could muster.

I wanted to share these thoughts of home with you today because it feels important to me to acknowledge my struggle, for maybe you have struggled with similar growth along your journey, or are struggling now. We can be the support we need for each other.

As I work my way through this period of intense growth, I also feel within me a rising of something I cannot even name yet. I think it may be an entirely new version of myself. I see her as more fully embodied, able to bring the visions in her head down into the Earth to be made manifest in this 3D realm. I see a woman who feels at home in a place that has firm floors, hot water, sacred spaces, and healthy boundaries.  I see a woman coming fully into her power.

The part of me that is already the woman I see in my mind’s eye believes that I will be living in this beautiful place that feels like home by the middle of July. The part of me that is still hiding, seeking a place that is clean and bright and whole, is terrified that things won’t come together in time, and I will be forever trapped in places like the ones I grew up in.  I hold that child-me in my arms and rock her, whispering that she is safe, she is safe, she is safe.

And as I do, her tears dry, her smile blossoms, and she gets up and runs outside to play in the garden of her dreams.

 

 

Staying in Your Own Lane, and Kari Samuels’ May Energy Forecast

Have you ever noticed that when you’re driving, if you look in any direction other than straight ahead, you start to veer in that direction?

The same holds true in your daily life. I’ve noticed that when I start to watch more news, read more articles or blogs or whatever about how awful the world is, and how everyone in it is doomed! doomed! doomed!, the more I start to actually feel that that’s true.  On the other hand, if I filter my Facebook newsfeed to only include positive stories, uplifting stories, I begin to feel that the world is a miraculous and wonderful place, and that good things are waiting around every corner for me. And, since I WANT to feel that good things are raining from the sky just for me, and I have almost total control over what I see, read, and watch, I can feel good about life most of the time.

Staying in one’s own lane means focusing on what’s in front of you and not being distracted by things that are not relevant to your life or beliefs.  It doesn’t mean there isn’t any other traffic, only that for your own safety and well-being, eyes front is the way to go.  It also doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t try to make things better, only that the way to do that is to come back to the micro level – your own life – in order to effect the most profound change.

For example, I saw on the news a few days ago a story about a 15-year-old black boy who was shot leaving a party by a police office, for no apparent reason. The first thing I felt was a sense of total hopelessness and anger. How in the world could we ever change how that particular storyline is going?

I was thinking too big, though, and not staying in my lane! In my lane, I treat every person kindly, regardless of their skin color, sex, age, or any other external factor over which that person has no control. Staying in my lane means that I smile at the white grocery store cashier and at the black girl stocking shelves in the back of the store, at the little girl carrying some flowers she just bought with her own money and at her harried-looking mother who stubbornly refuses to smile back. THIS is how we effect change on a large scale…all of us deciding to stay in our lane and make decisions on how to treat ourselves and the other people in our day-to-day lives.  No law or policy change is going to accomplish what we can do individually to immediately change our lives and those around us.

 

On another note, after April’s turbulent energy, it was refreshing to watch Kari Samuels’ forecast for May.  I am a huge fan of numerology, and Kari makes it fun and easy, combining numerology and astrology for a well-rounded, uplifting message every month.

So, watch Kari, and remember to stay in your lane!

 

 

Thoughts in Progress – March 8, 2017

love-vs-fear

What if masculine and feminine were not opposite ends of the spectrum? What if they are two entirely different spectra, both capable of becoming completely unbalanced?

And what if every person born was a unique combination of both feminine and masculine energy? One could be 40% feminine and 60% masculine, with both percentages falling somewhere within the spectrum of masculine and feminine energetic expression.

Would it make understanding this easier if I chose to call the energies projective and receptive instead of masculine and feminine?